Well, the snow continues to fall. On one hand, this is depressing as it means I am doomed to be a hamster in a ball for at least another few weeks. (Though, there is this guy who lives in my dorm who goes out every day to run, no matter what the weather. I can only aspire to be like him.) On the other hand, I got out of class for a second time this week. Not only did I not have to go to Monday’s class (which I have lovingly termed, “Stupid, Stupid, Stupidness”), nor did I have to go to Touchy Feely today.
In honor of my time off from school, I would like to present a public service announcement. Here is a list of . . .
The Top 10 Reasons Why Everyone Should Go to Graduate School to Obtain a Doctorate in Practical Theology and Spirituality!
10. You get to explain to people what the fields of “Practical Theology” and “Spirituality” are when, even after many years of study and several seminars bearing those words in the course names, you are still a little fuzzy on the definitions yourself.
9. Upon showing your co-workers your hot new blog called “theologygirl” you will get to be asked the coveted question, “You’re not some kind of religious freak, are you?”
8. You will answer “No,” to the aforementioned question but upon returning home and taking a long, hard look at yourself in the mirror, you will realize that you are, by many people’s standards, a “religious freak.”
7. You will then realize you have too much to do to have time to care.
6. You gleefully accept that there is great freedom in seeing that a professor has 27 books for one course. You can pray the “Graduate Student’s Serenity Prayer” with blessed assurance:
God, grant me the serenity to accept that a mere mortal could not finish all this reading,
Courage to change the things I can without throwing sharp objects at the professor
And the wisdom to know the difference between asinine minutia and what’s really important.
5. Two words: Guided Meditation.
4. As a student of theology, you will have the intellectual grounding to realize that all charges against
Sponge Bob Square Pants are the product of a think tank that has clearly been breathing its own toxic fumes for some time.
3. You will be surrounded with people who understand your jokes and laugh at them. Of course, this also means that 99.8 of the population would rather run screaming into the night rather than be around you long enough to hear your jokes.
2. When you pray for a snow day and it actually happens (twice), you are instantly cast into a crisis of faith because why should there be thousands of tsunami victims, while you get to completely skip the mild annoyances of life.
1. People will make you take a moral stand, put up an ethical argument or participate in a philosophical discussion, when the truth is you really just want to go back to reading the third book in the
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants series.
So that, my dear readers, is why you should get your doctorate in Theology. Or, become a children’s librarian, which is what I ultimately plan to do.
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