For today’s blog entry, I thought I would do something completely different. Please find here a humble offering of short fiction. I write fiction from time to time. And to share it, a work either it has to be so good that I think everyone in their right mind will love it (this has yet to happen), or I wrote it because I was bored and I don’t care if anyone likes it or not. The story here falls in to the latter category. It was written after I read a book called “The Passion Test,” one of the many character-building, pseudo-spiritual corporate books I have been made to read for the sake of my education.
I admit the story is a little dark. But I wasn’t being dark when I wrote it. I was just following The Passion Test’s premise--that we all might live our dreams--to one possible end.
Enjoy.
Ronald stared at his computer screen. The cursor blinked green against a solid black background. Austere, stoic black and green. Sure, he could have had a 256 color display, or a high-resolution flat panel that made all the geeks in the surrounding cubicles swoon. But Ronald didn’t go for that. He preferred it old school. It helped him concentrate. Helped keep the work real.
“Hey chief,” said Roy from accounting, one of Ronald’s few friends. “Break?” Roy already had a cigarette hanging from his mouth, a book tucked under one arm.
“Sure”
The two walked through the maze of co-workers and stepped outside. Ronald blinked hard against the real light of the sun. Too real, if you asked him.
“How’s work treating you?”
“Fine. Same old, same old.”
“Yeah. Me too. Until I found this.” Roy slid the book he had been carrying from underneath his arm. He handed it to Ronald.
“The Passion Test?” Ronald read aloud quizzically.
“Yeah, man. I just got it the other day and it’s already changed my life.”
“How so?”
“Well, I thought I was living the dream. Nice condo, great car, an audit now and then. But this book makes you really sit down and think, man. Think about what you dream of, what you really want out of life.” Roy sighed. “I thought I wanted to live the CPA dream. Seduce numbers with a mere glance. But when I sat down with this book,” he nodded meaningfully towards The Passion Test, “It all came home.”
“So you don’t want to be an accountant anymore?”
“No man. No way. Maybe I never did, just thought it was an honest days work. What I’ve always wanted,” Roy stopped for a moment, flushing slightly, “is to be a potter.”
Ronald snorted. He couldn’t help himself. Roy looked hurt. Ronald cleared his throat. “Sorry Roy. I just didn’t imagine you the artistic type.”
“Neither did I! But when I sat down and listed the top fifteen things I saw in an ideal life, then the top five, there it was . . . ‘I want to go to Peru and learn pottery techniques with indigenous masters. I want to open my own studio near the beach. I want to be covered in paint and smell clay first thing in the morning.’ I just couldn’t deny this lifelong dream.”
“Wow. Sounds pretty powerful.”
“Yeah man. More than you know.” The two sat for a few minutes in silence. Roy turned. “Look. I want to give you this book. I’ve gotten what I need from it. Just take it and read it.”
“Oh, I don’t know . . .”
“No, listen. This shit ain’t Who Moved My Cheese. This is the real deal. This is the stuff they don’t want you to know, so you stay asleep and keep consuming and producing like a good little middle class citizen. This book even talks about God! You owe it to the universe to read this book. Then when it changes your life, give it to someone else.” Roy took a last drag on his cigarette before throwing it to the ground and snuffing it out with his shoe. “Well, I gotta go. I have some accounts to finish up. Today’s my last day.”
“What?”
“Yeah. I’m going to Peru next week.” Roy turned to Ronald. “I’m not great at good-byes. So, take care man.” Roy gave Ronald an awkward hug and went back inside. Ronald followed and sat back down in his cubicle.
The next day, Ronald was a changed man. He had stayed up most of the night with The Passion Test. He came up with the five things he wanted in an ideal life and he made flash cards to remind himself. Everything Roy had said was true. It was all so clear to Ronald now. Ronald began showing everyone at work The Passion Test book. He encouraged them to buy their own copies and share it with their friends. He talked about it at the water cooler, over drinks, via the inter-office memo system. His coworkers, to whom he had never spoken more than a polite “hello” were at first surprised by the new fire in Ronald’s eyes and the passion in his step. So they began, one by one, to read The Passion Test. Susan from HR learned that she really wanted to open a dog grooming business. Ian, the CEO, had always wanted to try stock car racing. Everyone from the janitor to the International investors were taken by this book. The Passion Test’s sway spread worldwide.
Every day Ronald would take out his list of the Five Things He Wanted Out Of Life. He made plans. Papers were signed. People were contacted. It was getting harder and harder to get people to help him, since they were all so distracted trying to live their dreams. Often Ronald would go to a store looking for supplies only to find a sign declaring, “Gone to India in search of wholeness.” Fortunately, there were enough people wanting to make a fortune with an internet start-up that he was able to get what he needed.
It took Ronald longer than most, but finally he reached most of his goals. He had written down his dreams and made them manifest. He said a small prayer of thanks for The Book as he stood atop a gleaming golden statue of himself. It’s cold, perfect eyes stared with the intensity of a thousand blood diamonds. Gases streaked the sky, a thousand green cursors criss-crossing the inky black monitor that used to be the horizon. Ronald’s minions came to and fro, offering trinkets taken during the pillaging. Screams and cries of horror rang out; they were music to Ronald’s ears.
A sore-covered man who was curved over like an apostrophe hobbled towards Ronald. “Master,” he croaked. “An offering.” Ronald nodded, accepted the gift, and shoved the Pilgrim off of the statue’s face. Ronald unwrapped the small parcel. It was a piece of hand-thrown pottery. Ronald, bemused, turned in over. “Con Amor, Roy,” it read.
“Good for you Roy,” thought Ronald. “You were able to live your dream for a little while.” Ronald took a small, white card from his pocket and read it one final time. “The things I want in an ideal life: 5. To be worshiped 4. To reign terror on the blighted minds of humanity for my amusement 3. To rid the earth of humanity when I tire of their screams 2. To build for myself a new race who shall serve me 1. To become the immortal god of this, my own world.
Ronald smiled and flicked the card into the void. It twirled into the fog. Ronald had only to secure his fifth and final desire. He had heard of a few monks who knew something about becoming immortal. Ronald knew he couldn’t kill them, obviously, so he had only to search for them. And The Passion Test promised it could all be his. It hadn’t been wrong so far. So why should he lose trust in this Holy Book now?
Down the golden likeness he strode, impervious to the gases. He was half immortal already. Ronald glanced up down at the small pot in his hand. He smiled. “Thanks Roy. I owe you one.”
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