It is amazing, the lengths to which I will go to remain unproductive.

I should be packing.  I should at least be organizing, or doing work, or buying an anniversary card for the man who has put up with me a decade.  But no.  This fine July 20, I decided my time would be best spent searching the city for an arm band that will allow me to procure the new Harry Potter a full 10 minutes earlier than I would be able to get it in another location.  I succeeded, at location number 3.  I almost died in an elevator for this trophy, but darn it, I have an orange arm band.  Much better than those poor saps with the purple arm band who will have to wait 14 minutes instead of my 12.  HA!  Persistence triumphs again!

In spite of being a crazed Harry Potter fan myself, I do not understand why people are so upset about the book being available three days early.  Whatever, J.K. Rowling.  Your 12 million first printing will sell out eventually, so I don’t understand why you’re upset.  And spoilers?  People.  Don’t read the reviews if you don’t want to know what they say.  I mean, is the whole world going to read the 700+ page tome in one day?  No?  Then won’t their be spoilers out there before most can finish the book anyway?  Besides, can you really “spoil” something that is 700 pages long without tying someone down and feeding them the plot, Clockwork Orange style, directly into their subconscious? 

Actually, I’ll save everyone the trouble of reading the book.  I’ll spoil the plot here.  No, I haven’t read it.  But I doubt I need to.  Here is what I think happens:

1.  Good will, ultimately, triumph over evil. 
2.  Snape is not, ultimately, a bad guy.  Because the he would be the most poorly-written character ever.  Poorer even then the entire cast of the “Left Behind” series.  (And that, friends, is saying something.)

Good will win in Harry because that is what happens in the hero’s journey.  I doubt Harry will die because that is rarely what happens in the hero’s journey.  Oh sure, maybe there will be a body count.  But Harry?  No, no.  He’ll make it through.

Whether or not I will be able to confirm this, the firm belief in my Harry Potter spoilers, might have to wait until -gasp!-next week, since The Move starts on Saturday.  Unfortunate timing, really.  I gave thought to running away for 24 hours to complete the book that I simply must have at midnight tonight.  But I don’t have a chair on which to sit at the new apartment, and the floor might get a little uncomfortable after 200 pages or so.

Then again, I went without food and movement (save the flipping of pages) for 16 hours straight for Harry Potter 4.  Because I am a winner, and I am committed.  Or should be committed.  Same thing.