Part II: Conversations with Denny
June 17, 2005
I learned a lot in the several hours Denny and I spent in the car. Most of all, I decided that any person, when given enough time to talk about themselves, is fascinating. Here is our conversation as best I can remember it. I doubt I am recounting it verbatim, as good as my memory is for this sort of thing. However, I feel I have captured the themes and mythic archetypes of Denny's soliloquies in as true a spirit as are possible.
Denny: So what do you do in Boston?
Me: Oh, I'm a doctoral student in Theology.
Denny: Theology, that's like, religion, right?
Me: Yup
D: *silence*
D: *more silence*
D: So what does your husband do?
Me: Oh, he's a research technician at a lab. He works with the Human Genome Project; they're associated with MIT. I don?t know exactly what he does?he is on the materials team. They make stuff for other people there.
D: *increasingly uncomfortable silence.* (This is where I realize that Denny and I are very, very different people.)
Me: So what is it you do?
D: Oh, I work for General Electric. I fix *insert long list of technical words that have to do with engines, words that involved "turbines." It?s good work, you know? I get to travel a lot. I travel, well, hell, wherever they need me, I guess. I can go wherever there is electricity. I got into it a long time ago, and now that I look back at life, I wonder if that was the best thing, if that is what I was meant to do. You know? You do one thing for so many years and you wonder, is this what life should be? Is this how I should have spend my time?
Me: Yeah.
D: I was born and raised Catholic. I think I still try to live my life by those values. But I got out of it, you know? Hell, maybe I was abused by a priest and I repressed those memories. I was an altar boy, you know? But I got away from it. And I wonder if that had something to do with my life. Now I work a lot. Some years, I have over 1000 hours of over time, but I?m trying to cut back. I guess that?s an excuse for not going to church. I don?t know.
Me: Mmm. Do you mind if I put this in my blog?
D: What the hell is a blog?
Me: Uh. Never mind.
D: I live by the rectory of some church. And there were some nice people who came through there. You know, they were friendly, said hello. But damn, there was this one woman who was crazy. I mean, she wasn't nice at all. I don't understand it--the people supposed to be doing God?s work are just terrible to you to your face.
Me: Yeah, the ministry is like any other profession. Some people get into it who probably shouldn't.
D: Hell, yeah. Like psychology. Psychology is like financial advising, I think. You don't need any damn education for financial advising. I think anyone can do it. Anyone can call themselves a psychologist. My wife went to one, and I begged her to stop. That woman she was seeing was filling her head up. And then my wife decided she didn't want to be with me anymore, couldn?t be married. And then she lost her job. That's why I don?t trust psychologists. They go messing around inside your head and they do more damage.
Me: Mmm.
D: It's been four years now since I've been married. I guess I've gotten used to being single again. I work hard and I play hard. I try to play hard. I can travel because I'm single, you know? I have a boat, I have my motorcycle. These fill up the empty spaces.
Me: *silence* So, when did you move here?
D: Oh, in 1984, just after we got married. We bought our house and saw it as a fixer-upper. Thought it was investment just to start. We just ended up staying. You know, my wife and I would travel a lot. We went to Hawaii on our honeymoon. We didn't get to go right away, because my father died two weeks before our wedding. So we went skiing for few days and then took my mom and we all went to Hawaii. It's beautiful there, I?ll tell you. You look at them there trees, that ocean, and it is like your soul as is clear as the water, you know? You forget all the stuff that bring you down. It's just you and the world and, if you?re lucky enough to be with someone, that love. You know?
Me: I've never been to Hawaii.
D: Oh, but it?s not just there. It?s anywhere, really. (This is where I realize that Denny and I are similar in the way that all people of Western, PA are of similar stock.)
Me: Mmm.
D: But then you gotta come back. To work. Everyone comes back from these places to work. Well, I guess if they're lucky. That's something, going to all of these different people. I go wherever I?m needed. I once had to fix this engine that was built in the 1800s. Guy who managed it got all pissy because I had to study it a while before I could start on the problem. I mean, what the hell did he expect? He says to me, "All you GE guys come here and don?t know anything about this machine. Why the hell don?t they train you on these things?" Well, this guy, and he looked like Colonel Sanders, you know, the Kentucky Fried Chicken Guy, well, what does he expect? There's only two of these machines still in existence and that's one more than I thought was still around in the first place! Anyway, I do what I can and the machine starts working again. That?s the best part--fixing something that someone doesn't know how to fix. Making the broken whole again.
Me: Yeah.
D: It?s not always like that. Colonel Sanders, he was on okay guy, he was just worried about his machine. But I went to the local newspaper's printing press, you know, it?s pretty small time, it?s not like the Boston Globe or nothin?. I mean, I came in in a clean uniform, come to look at their printing press motor that had busted, and they acted like I was a noone. They said that the press was "Harry's baby," some other regular technician, I guess, and didn't want me to touch anything! I managed to somehow get it going again cause any newspaper press down is a big deal for the people runnin' the news, but it was tough. And I went to eat in their cafeteria, and these guys in suits come it and looked at me like I was lower than dirt. And I thought, hell, I probably make twice what you make, if that's what you'[re basing your opinions on. Other places, people want my opinion. People give me respect, treat me like I'm smart. And I mean, I?m not the best at reading or writing like they might be, but I'm good at what I do. I went to Hershey Foods, a corporation that's a hell of a lot bigger than this newspaper, and I was treated really well. There was a problem with the machinery that separated the milk?kind of like a centrifuge, you know? And I sat down with important people, and at the end? They gave me this special edition, gold box of chocolates! Ha! Beat that! And here some local paper thinks I'm nothing.
Me: Wow
D: Yeah. *silence* Well, I've waited long enough. I?m going to have a cigarette. I?m driving. My wife always hated me smoking, but I was allowed to if I was driving.
Me: Okay.
*cigarette passes*
Me: So do you like working for GE?
D: Yeah, it?s alright. I started out doing *insert more technical language* when I first went there 20 years ago. And I really liked that job. But I lost that job right after I lost my marriage. Let me tell you, those were some rough times. But what I'm doing now is alright. My neighbors, they can't figure me out. You know, some days, I work 12 hours in a row, sometimes I?m off for a month. Sometimes I have a different truck, sometimes I?m gone for a week. They make up stories about me, you know? They're an old couple.
Me: Mmm.
D: More work is coming back into the country these days. Not a lot, but some. You know, they go oversees, or down south, where they can pay the workers next to nothing. And that?s not right. To have people on an assembly line not be able to afford the things they make, that?s not right. GE makes electricity. Those people should have electricity, you know? But what do I know? I come home, I take care of my birds. I go where they tell me to go and I fix things. But some things aren?t right.
Me: Yeah.
D: It?s like, electricity. We?re all electric, you know? Benjamin Franklin discovered it, Thomas Edison, he figured out how to bring it to the people and make money. And me? I fix the things that need it. But our bodies, our bodies, you know? They run on electricity. Our brains, all those things that make us who we are and what we our. Those things that made me and my wife get married, that made us get divorced. It's all electricity, you know? I just wish I knew how to fix those kind of things, you know? Hell, maybe there is a God. I'm always thinking about how God?s a better electrician than I am, that's for sure. He can fix those broken parts and make it all start to flow again. And I sure as hell can?t. *Denny laughs.*
From here I pretty much give Denny the directions to my house. I feel as though Denny is some sort of character out of Peter's Dungeons and Dragons campaigns. Or, not a character necessarily, but an entity who could be a character. He would be an "electrician mage" or something. For in the two hours on the ride home, Denny talked about his entire worldview--faith, politics, family, life, love--you name it, and it was all somehow wrapped up in his connection to electricity. Electricity--the animating force that runs through all of life. Denny spent his life fixing the things this force propels, and he wonders if it?s been worth it. Strangely, it is I who spend my time studying the One Denny doubts exists, but still sees as the one controlling ultimate animation. Who is the wiser one? Who?s livelihood is the one more valued for contributions to poetry, philosophy, thought in general?
I think a lot of people would say mine?an alleged scholar. (Or at least one in training.)
But my money's on Denny.
« ...That's All There Is!
Me: Oh, I'm a doctoral student in Theology.
Denny: Theology, that's like, religion, right?
Me: Yup
D: *silence*
D: *more silence*
D: So what does your husband do?
Me: Oh, he's a research technician at a lab. He works with the Human Genome Project; they're associated with MIT. I don?t know exactly what he does?he is on the materials team. They make stuff for other people there.
D: *increasingly uncomfortable silence.* (This is where I realize that Denny and I are very, very different people.)
Me: So what is it you do?
D: Oh, I work for General Electric. I fix *insert long list of technical words that have to do with engines, words that involved "turbines." It?s good work, you know? I get to travel a lot. I travel, well, hell, wherever they need me, I guess. I can go wherever there is electricity. I got into it a long time ago, and now that I look back at life, I wonder if that was the best thing, if that is what I was meant to do. You know? You do one thing for so many years and you wonder, is this what life should be? Is this how I should have spend my time?
Me: Yeah.
D: I was born and raised Catholic. I think I still try to live my life by those values. But I got out of it, you know? Hell, maybe I was abused by a priest and I repressed those memories. I was an altar boy, you know? But I got away from it. And I wonder if that had something to do with my life. Now I work a lot. Some years, I have over 1000 hours of over time, but I?m trying to cut back. I guess that?s an excuse for not going to church. I don?t know.
Me: Mmm. Do you mind if I put this in my blog?
D: What the hell is a blog?
Me: Uh. Never mind.
D: I live by the rectory of some church. And there were some nice people who came through there. You know, they were friendly, said hello. But damn, there was this one woman who was crazy. I mean, she wasn't nice at all. I don't understand it--the people supposed to be doing God?s work are just terrible to you to your face.
Me: Yeah, the ministry is like any other profession. Some people get into it who probably shouldn't.
D: Hell, yeah. Like psychology. Psychology is like financial advising, I think. You don't need any damn education for financial advising. I think anyone can do it. Anyone can call themselves a psychologist. My wife went to one, and I begged her to stop. That woman she was seeing was filling her head up. And then my wife decided she didn't want to be with me anymore, couldn?t be married. And then she lost her job. That's why I don?t trust psychologists. They go messing around inside your head and they do more damage.
Me: Mmm.
D: It's been four years now since I've been married. I guess I've gotten used to being single again. I work hard and I play hard. I try to play hard. I can travel because I'm single, you know? I have a boat, I have my motorcycle. These fill up the empty spaces.
Me: *silence* So, when did you move here?
D: Oh, in 1984, just after we got married. We bought our house and saw it as a fixer-upper. Thought it was investment just to start. We just ended up staying. You know, my wife and I would travel a lot. We went to Hawaii on our honeymoon. We didn't get to go right away, because my father died two weeks before our wedding. So we went skiing for few days and then took my mom and we all went to Hawaii. It's beautiful there, I?ll tell you. You look at them there trees, that ocean, and it is like your soul as is clear as the water, you know? You forget all the stuff that bring you down. It's just you and the world and, if you?re lucky enough to be with someone, that love. You know?
Me: I've never been to Hawaii.
D: Oh, but it?s not just there. It?s anywhere, really. (This is where I realize that Denny and I are similar in the way that all people of Western, PA are of similar stock.)
Me: Mmm.
D: But then you gotta come back. To work. Everyone comes back from these places to work. Well, I guess if they're lucky. That's something, going to all of these different people. I go wherever I?m needed. I once had to fix this engine that was built in the 1800s. Guy who managed it got all pissy because I had to study it a while before I could start on the problem. I mean, what the hell did he expect? He says to me, "All you GE guys come here and don?t know anything about this machine. Why the hell don?t they train you on these things?" Well, this guy, and he looked like Colonel Sanders, you know, the Kentucky Fried Chicken Guy, well, what does he expect? There's only two of these machines still in existence and that's one more than I thought was still around in the first place! Anyway, I do what I can and the machine starts working again. That?s the best part--fixing something that someone doesn't know how to fix. Making the broken whole again.
Me: Yeah.
D: It?s not always like that. Colonel Sanders, he was on okay guy, he was just worried about his machine. But I went to the local newspaper's printing press, you know, it?s pretty small time, it?s not like the Boston Globe or nothin?. I mean, I came in in a clean uniform, come to look at their printing press motor that had busted, and they acted like I was a noone. They said that the press was "Harry's baby," some other regular technician, I guess, and didn't want me to touch anything! I managed to somehow get it going again cause any newspaper press down is a big deal for the people runnin' the news, but it was tough. And I went to eat in their cafeteria, and these guys in suits come it and looked at me like I was lower than dirt. And I thought, hell, I probably make twice what you make, if that's what you'[re basing your opinions on. Other places, people want my opinion. People give me respect, treat me like I'm smart. And I mean, I?m not the best at reading or writing like they might be, but I'm good at what I do. I went to Hershey Foods, a corporation that's a hell of a lot bigger than this newspaper, and I was treated really well. There was a problem with the machinery that separated the milk?kind of like a centrifuge, you know? And I sat down with important people, and at the end? They gave me this special edition, gold box of chocolates! Ha! Beat that! And here some local paper thinks I'm nothing.
Me: Wow
D: Yeah. *silence* Well, I've waited long enough. I?m going to have a cigarette. I?m driving. My wife always hated me smoking, but I was allowed to if I was driving.
Me: Okay.
*cigarette passes*
Me: So do you like working for GE?
D: Yeah, it?s alright. I started out doing *insert more technical language* when I first went there 20 years ago. And I really liked that job. But I lost that job right after I lost my marriage. Let me tell you, those were some rough times. But what I'm doing now is alright. My neighbors, they can't figure me out. You know, some days, I work 12 hours in a row, sometimes I?m off for a month. Sometimes I have a different truck, sometimes I?m gone for a week. They make up stories about me, you know? They're an old couple.
Me: Mmm.
D: More work is coming back into the country these days. Not a lot, but some. You know, they go oversees, or down south, where they can pay the workers next to nothing. And that?s not right. To have people on an assembly line not be able to afford the things they make, that?s not right. GE makes electricity. Those people should have electricity, you know? But what do I know? I come home, I take care of my birds. I go where they tell me to go and I fix things. But some things aren?t right.
Me: Yeah.
D: It?s like, electricity. We?re all electric, you know? Benjamin Franklin discovered it, Thomas Edison, he figured out how to bring it to the people and make money. And me? I fix the things that need it. But our bodies, our bodies, you know? They run on electricity. Our brains, all those things that make us who we are and what we our. Those things that made me and my wife get married, that made us get divorced. It's all electricity, you know? I just wish I knew how to fix those kind of things, you know? Hell, maybe there is a God. I'm always thinking about how God?s a better electrician than I am, that's for sure. He can fix those broken parts and make it all start to flow again. And I sure as hell can?t. *Denny laughs.*
From here I pretty much give Denny the directions to my house. I feel as though Denny is some sort of character out of Peter's Dungeons and Dragons campaigns. Or, not a character necessarily, but an entity who could be a character. He would be an "electrician mage" or something. For in the two hours on the ride home, Denny talked about his entire worldview--faith, politics, family, life, love--you name it, and it was all somehow wrapped up in his connection to electricity. Electricity--the animating force that runs through all of life. Denny spent his life fixing the things this force propels, and he wonders if it?s been worth it. Strangely, it is I who spend my time studying the One Denny doubts exists, but still sees as the one controlling ultimate animation. Who is the wiser one? Who?s livelihood is the one more valued for contributions to poetry, philosophy, thought in general?
I think a lot of people would say mine?an alleged scholar. (Or at least one in training.)
But my money's on Denny.
« ...That's All There Is!
