Organic chocolate is made with gold and crushed diamonds.  Natural blue cheese and real aged cheddar cheese puffs are seasoned with the magic of arcane wizards.  Or, at least, I think they are, because I know of no other reason they should be so expensive.  These yoga retreat center people, they’re brilliant marketers.  The only “free” thing I can eat are the vegetables they have at dinner, dinner that is only available for 1.5 hour increments twice a day.  I could have breakfast, but I’m not allowed to talk there.  I had no desire to speak until I wasn’t allowed to do so at breakfast.

As it turns out, SARK the Queen of Succulence, is a normal human being.  A nice, normal human being.  I sort of expected her to float into our sessions on a cloud of cherubim.  But she walked in carrying an easel.  Which she then sort of dropped on her head. 

The people at this event, well, they are a little more . . . colorful?  Succulent?  Vegan?  I don’t know.  I can’t really critique them too harshly, however, because today I found myself saying to someone, “You should just pick a journal to read and do what it inspires you to do.  The universe will guide you to what you need.”

Yeah.  I know. 

This was only a few hours after I was plotting my early escape.  I was going to skip the Sunday morning session.  I’ve skipped classes I’ve paid for BU has paid for before, I could do it again.  Who cares how much personal edification I would miss?  I had had it with these freaks.

But no.  Peter told me I should be a big girl and be able to stay away from home for more than one night.  And then a person I sat with at lunch admitted she had not only attended a Sci-Fi Convention shortly before coming here, and that she also helps run a porn site.  And then there is the organic chocolate. 

Oh, and did I mention I signed up for an aura photo session tomorrow?  As in, I’m going to have my aura photographed.  With a special camera.  That is designed to do just that.  Photograph auras.

Yeah.  I know. Believe me. I know. 

Peter told me I should stay, so I could not merely bide my time.  I had to stay with gusto.  Besides, when in Rome, photograph your aura as the Romans do.  I’m about 12 hours away from chanting too!

This is all Peter’s fault.  But boy am I excited to write my one page reflection for BU.  I need to make sure the School of Theology understands exactly on what it spent its spiritual retreat money.

I’m totally including the part about my aura.