Have I ever mentioned that my dissertation is about theology and young adult fiction?  Yes.  Yes it is.  Specifically the ultimate goal of my work of “practical theology” (the crown jewel of theology according to Schleiermacher, I’ll have you know) is a curriculum for young adult spiritual formation incorporating “works of popular culture” (and in this case, fiction).

I have come to the unfortunate conclusion that I will have to include Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight series in my dissertation.  I guess I don’t have to, but it is so terribly popular still.  How can I not?  I have filled many pages with lesser known (well, books that have sold fewer copies and spawned no movies) novels, but vampires are all the rage.  It’s not that I have anything against vampires per se, though in my youth I much preferred books about witches.  And if I were 15 I would probably swoon over Jacob (not Edward, moody tortured soul that he is).  But now I just look at all. those. pages. I have to sift through to get something to write about.  Oh, the text.  The melancholy, angstful text.  Hundreds upon hundreds of pages in just one book.  Out of four.

I watched the movie again last night to avoid having to reread the first novel to get a different perspective on the first book.  Here is the plot summary I intend to include in my appendices (caution, may contain spoilers):

Girl meets boy.
Boy is a vampire.
Brood.
Brood.
Emote.
Brood.
Girl gets boy anyway.
Brood.

Two of my co-workers have read all of the novels and loved them (and the movie!).  I asked them if they thought there was anything theologically significant in any of the books.

Blank stares.

“Anything religious?” I tried again. 

“No.  Not really.” They both agreed.

“Well, what about that whole thing about vampires not having a soul?”

“Oh, well, I guess you can read something religious into anything.”

This, in a nutshell, is why I don’t talk about my work.  Even when asked.  Because when I launch into what I feel is the fascinating topic, I quickly come to the realization that few people care.  They were asking to be polite.  They think Twilight has no religious themes.  Which is fine, really, except that it means I won’t be able to steal their ideas bounce theses off of them for argument’s sake. 

It’s times like these that I think I really should have gone to library school.