I am never going to finish my dissertation.  Nay, I am never going to start my dissertation.

Arguably, the time I spend blogging could be spent dissertating.  Also, I have technically “started” the paper, if a haphazard collection of incoherent babbling counts as progress.  But in most senses, I am getting nowhere very quickly. 

It just seems there is too much life to be lived.  Never mind the baby--the hours minutes I’m not tending to her, I am torn between work and the Wii.  Between work and eating.  Between work and the other work that provides food, shelter, and ridiculous anecdotes.  Never can I find the time nor commitment to sit down and stare at practical theology texts. 

This is a problem, friends. 

And the recent addition of a Panera across the street from my house is not helping either.  I go there, school books and laptop neatly organized for the construction of great sentences--paragraphs even!--of theology.  But I get there and I am overtaken by the seductive apple pastries and beatnik kids waxing philosophical.  I compose haiku about the merits of Wii.

Smug little robot
You say that I am obese-
Shut up, Wii Fit.

Or, sometimes, I try to get in some school time:

Responsible grace
John Wesley is my homeboy
Word to Methodists.

Not the most useful exercises in the world.  Though I can tell you “Practical Theology” has seven syllables.  That’s gotta come in handy some day.

Does anyone know how to finish a thesis?  While, say, there is a baby who recently began fighting naps, hanging around?  If so, please share your secrets.  I’m willing to provide apple pastries as compensation.