Oh joy! Oh health! Oh solid foods! How Iíve missed you. I will never scoff at having to cook or prepare you again. Well, at least not for a few days while I can still convince Peter to do it for me. So, Iím now perilously close to 2 months until the marathon and I am having some serious doubts about my ability to complete this thing. Actually, Iím having serious doubts about being able to start the marathon. I am barely at 4 percent of my fundraising goal, I get knocked down by some kind of sickness every other week and I have yet to achieve this alleged ìrunners highî that people keep saying exists. ìEndorphins, man, theyíll keep you going for hours!î Sure they will. I also hear endorphins can rid us of the national debt and alert us to the where-abouts of Jimmy Hoffa. Anyway, today, in a fit of panicked planning, I have decided on a fundraising plan. Part one of this plan involves the selling of Krispy Kreme doughnuts to the overworked undergraduates who live in my dorm. Now, I ran into a small snafu in this endeavor when I was informed that groups cannot sell said tasty treats becauseówait for itóselling them is in direct completion with Starbucks who has some sort of monopoly over, er, contract with the university. Thatís right. You canít sell doughnuts to raise money for cancer research (or anything else for that matter) because it would interfere with Starbucks. Now, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I present you with the following facts:

So today I got The Letter. I have included it here: Dear Adrienne, On behalf of the District Committee On Ordained Ministry, I am writing this letter to say that we were sorry that you did not attend the District Meeting on Saturday, January 29th at *** and that you did not inform us that you would not be present. It is imperative [sic] that you attend our next District Meeting on Sunday April 9, 2005 at ***. At this meeting you need to update us as to where you are in the process with all necessary paperwork at hand (i.e. candidacy guidebook, the psychological assessment, and the credit report.) If you do not attend this meeting, we will discontinue you as inquiring candidate. May God bless you in all that you do. In Christ, *** *** Places and dates have been removed so I donít appear as spiteful as I really am. Some commentary: A) Well, apparently I was supposed to be at a meeting on the 29th. And it doesnít seem that they are upset so much with the fact that I wasnít there, as with the fact that I didnít tell them I wasnít going to be there. My contention is that I would have done this if I had known about the meeting, oh, MORE THAN 48 HOURS IN ADVANCE. * ahem * B) The put ìimperativeî in bold, so it must be true. Unfortunately, it is imperative that I am in the city of Boston getting ready for a marathon. These imperatives are terribly inconvenient. C) My favorite part is where theyíre like, ìIf you donít attend the meeting, youíre toast sister!î (Well, something like that). But then the next line is ìMay God bless you.î May God bless me indeed. IN MY NEW CAREER AS A PRO SURFER! Ha! Take that UMC! D) Edited to add: And another thing; if you are sending a letter to a well-meaning, albeit disorganized clergy wanna-be, informing her wacky ways are no longer welcome in the church hierarchy, should you really sign it "In Christ?" Does Christ endorse this? Bah! Snar! Fhqwgads! E) Edited again to add: And another thing. Credit report? They need a credit report? What? Now, in John Wesley's questions to potential clergy, I think there was something about not having "an embarassing amount of debt." But does this count the massive amount of debt incurred the last 9 or so years paying to learn how to do the Lord's work? Oh . . . I got nothin'. But my family is out full force on the comment section. So I have an ecumenical force on my side. I have Roman Catholics, Episcopalians, and a semi-Jewish, uh, something . . .and the United Methodists want me to transfer conferences, so I donít know how that affects things. Actually, if youíre in the praying mood, you should put in a good word for Wil Wheatonís cat, Sketch. I mean, I know that is a long ways from praying from my lifeís vocation. And that none of us actually know Wil Wheaton. But my geek heart has felt an affinity for him for most of my life (and recently a loving cat entered my life), so, you know, thought Iíd put that request out there. And if you get around to it, you can mention the whole UMC thing. But Iíd rather the cat come first. His issues seem a lot more pressing.